Monday, May 19, 2008

How My Life Is Going

This morning I had to go to the county tax office to pay my car taxes and as I pulled out of the parking lot of my place of employment, the sun was on my face and I just felt good. Sure my seat is broken and I suspect the people at the ford dealership did it in an attempt to make me pay the $800 they said it would cost them to fix it(suckers!!! I got one at the junk yard for $125!!) and yup, I missed the deadline to pay for an extended warranty on my lap top which means I gotta be extra careful with my baby until I can come up with a plan b, but I feel good. I feel Good today.

First off I feel good because even tho I got to pay for my seat and I had to pay those taxes, it's cool cause my back account is on swoll. I have been aggressively saving for my move and it feels good to have the money to do the things that i need t do. I swar i was tired of living chech to check and even tho I am still not where I want to be, thank G-d I am not where I used to be.

I also feel good because I took THE TEST the other day and I failed. I was scared as a mug because last year i did some dumb stuff and I just knew it was gonna get me. But I am cool and that is great and i swear form now on, i am extra careful.

I feel good because i really feel better about the person that I am becoming. I really dont give a fuck about who knows that I am gay. I finally understand all that jazz that I have been talking for a while about living in the truth. I cant help but wonder if the fact hat I have been absent from church for about a good 5 moths has anything to do with my position? I just feel like all the noise is gone and I can finally hear G-d.

And I am happy that I am on the road to a meaningful relationship. Sure, Shanen has some issues that worry me but who doesn't. I got issues too but maybe we can walk them, out together.

anyway, a brother is happy today. I hope this feeling last for at least the rest of the week.

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