I needed to write

So for a week now I have been having that fluttery heart thing. I hate it because it makes me nervous. I feel like I am going to die. I usually causes a panic attack. I have been cool with it lately tho. I think that I am finally over the horrible panic attacks. I figure if you gonna die, you gonna die. No amount of panic is gonna stop it.

finally dropped my Lit class yesterday so now there will be lass stress in my life. That class, tho it was one of my favorite, was really bringing me down. I just didn't have enough time to devote to it. I will pick it up in the spring.

I am so really feeling Ciara's new song. Yeah yeah yeah, I know she cant sing but that song is killin it. She has found her niche! I think she knows that she is a mediocre singer but she also knows that she has great dance moves and the people who wrote the song focused on what she could do. Too many singers trying to do stuff that they are not capable of. She knows what she can do and she is doing it. I might even buy the album........naw.

here at work on a saturday.

ready to go home and I just got here.


So umm, this lady that has been working here for 17years was fired on Thursday. She was fired because of attendance! See, this hits close to home for me because I am always late. I had a meeting the other day and my supervisor told me that I could not be late anymore but I was actually late that day. So I feel like I am working on borrowed time. Shit sucks!

But then again, I believe that subconsciously I want to be fired. I have had warning after warning but for some reason I just can't get here on time. I really hate this job therefore, I think that my mind is working so that I will not be here anymore. I really hate this job.

And in other news, I just wish that I could do a full week at that gym. This is another area where I just can't get motivated enough to do a full week. I am supposed to do mon, tue, thur, fri but what usually happens is that I will be all gung ho on Monday but I never make the full 4 days. I think the most that I have ever even done are 3. I really need to get in gear cause I have decided(for the umpteenth time) that I will not go into my 30's as a fat boy. I WONT!