Just to relax

I thought that I should come over here and post up something. Just to take some time out of my day and get some relaxation.

Why is it that every time you plan some shit out, the shit that you didn't plan for happens? That would be a good way to describe my day thus far. I had a tight ass schedule that would not allow a lot of deviation but when you add people to any plan, you can never be sure how it will turn out. Today reinforced my idea that everybody is not like me. Which means that everyone does not act like me. Because if someone were to give me an assignment to do, I would not instead talk on my cell phone and waste 4hours doing something that should only take 2. Naw, I probably would.

I have an idea for a new story. Not exactly an idea but I want to start off a story with a description of a sweet summer evening in the south. I want to take the time and describe sitting on the porch in the evening with cousin talking about nothing all while the sun goes down. I want to Explain what it feels like after an evening rain when everything is all wet but the sun is shinning. Or those times when you spent the whole day at the pool and when evening comes you are tired as shit but you are excited cause somebody is about to start the grill. Or those lazy evenings when you don't do a thing except eat watermelon. Southern summer evenings are magical I think. Just describing it in the blog makes me feel all warm inside. I need to write something that includes that.

You know what I discovered the other day? I really do love my moms. I know that sounds weird but me and moms have had a 'hard row to ho' when it comes to building our relationship. I could go into all the details here but I think that would require another blog entry so I will just say that we had a few times of absence from one another and I think that is why our relationship was kinda funny. Once I had a friend tell me that she didn't think that I loved my mom and I remember feeling real bad when she said that. I mean, i thought I loved my mom and on some levels I think that I did. Just not the Love that we have right now. We really know each other and I know that she has my back and I hers. I remember once upon a time I would actually get angry at the idea that I was supposed to look out for her. Anger that came from feeling I had that she never really looked out for me. At least that was the perception I had. We talked and my perception changed. Sure she fucked up sometimes but she was young. Hell, I fucked up. At any rate, I know that I am just about all she got and to be honest, she is really all I have. She's my mom and even tho our situation did not look like some sit-com, in the end it worked for us. I think that I will have to dedicate an entry for us cause maybe some people will get something from it.

a little bit of culture on Friday night

So me and my new friend Julie went to Avenue Q on Friday night and we had a great time. That white chic is cool as shit and I am not just saying this because she will probably be reading this entry(and if you are reading this Julie, don't mind that 'White women think they rule the world' entry. it wasn't about you *smile*)

Anyway, the show was great but even greater was the fact that I was not stuck in the house watching "What Not To Wear" on a Friday night. Julie is the shit! I mean, I really feel good talking to her. We just trip out!

In other news....my job is starting to become a real.....job. I remember once upon a time I would go to work and not do shit except get on OKP. Now I hardly even see OKP on a workday. I am really working! There is so much to do and I feel like there is just not enough time. The work, I don't mind so much but the problem that I am having is that my supervisor is acting like an ass. It is as if she is trying to punish me because she is so behind and I am doing what she should be doing. I don't blame her for being out because she had some serious shit going on at the time but now she is back and she is basically lost and mad at me.

But I won't let her keep me down. I am on a mission now to set myself up for a significant move in a year. Forget Atlanta. It's all about NYC now! If I play this situation right I could play this hand and make all this shit work in my favor.

Chillin at work

Trying to waste some time so I decided that I should probably blog. I really need to get in the habit of doing this more often.

I heard that if you blog a lot it actually improves your other writing. I must say that my experience tells me that this is true. I feel that I have come a long way in my writing and maybe one day I will finally have the nerve to actually write that book.

I cant even finish my short story. Sometimes I will get an incredible idea and i start to flesh it out. Then I start to actually piece it together and a story starts to form. But then somewhere along the way I lose interest. I just burn out on the idea and then it becomes a chore for me to even finish it. I am a habitual "starter but never finisher" I need to do better.

I don't want to talk about anything romantic.

I could talk about self hating Christian Homos......but I think that I will save that for a blog all it's own. I'll just say that a friend of mine has his life caught on a vicious see-saw. He just goes up and down when it comes to his spirituality and his sexuality. It saddens me.