I wish there was a way to put all my blogging together

and since i don't know of one yet http://traj.diaryland.com/index.html is where all my blogs before this one can be found.

dayum i miss my homey. shit gets worse everyday. its like it is finally setting in that I wont be seeing him.

I am pissed today for a couple of reasons.

1) I asked that dude to please get a gift certificate for me. It was a present that I was planning to give to my grandmother for Christmas. He said he would. I mean, he owed me money so he was really just paying me back. I asked on Thursday. I waited until Sunday to ask again. He said he was still going to pick it up. Today is Tuesday and I still have no gift certificate! And he didn't even have the decency to call me and let me know anything. And this is why we are no longer an item. My boy told me last night that he thinks that I was just using this gift certificate thing as a test to see if I wanted to remain friends with Trap. I think he was right and the way he acted lets me know that we cannot be friends. He is not a person that I would be friends with. I cant stand his ass.

2) The baby mama of my recently deceased friend is not allowing anyone to see the child. I have tried to call her several times and left messages but she has not returned any of them. Yesterday I heard that she is complaining that too many people are calling her and she feels that it is harassment. Harassment!? I spent a grip on my god son and I just need to know what I need to do with all this stuff. Why in the hell would a person act so dumb at a time like this? This is supposed to be a festive time of year but my boy is gone and now she is making it worse. Why would she not allow the family to see the child? I have a mind to go up there and smack some sense into her ass.

Yesterday I lost my friend

Actually, lost is such a final word. I think that I would rather say we won't speak for a time.
This was more that my friend. A brother. As a mater of fact we decided a long time ago that since we were only children, we should just be brothers......from different mothers.
Outkast was our shit
Cee-lo was the man
Bilal was the voice.....why nobody understood that was beyond us. I mean, just listen to "Sometimes"
I hated his womanizing
he was cool with my issue
He kept saying that I was going to have to do better if I was going to be the Godfather of little J.

Sometimes shit is just so final.
I need to ask him about making copies of the first 3 seasons of the wire.
Ideally, when people die, they should leave all work finished.
Since we still have things to do, he cant be gone.
right?
I mean, that is what my mind says.

I used to be scared to die. Like, I would have these real big panic attacks about it.
Funny, but yesterday I wasn't so scared. I know I will have somebody waiting to trip with.

R.I.P
Gary Jamaco Moon