wow, after about a month

I finally got back in the gym this morning. I really don't know what the block was. It was like, i could not get out of bed at 5am. I guess that ain't too unusual tho, i mean, who does want to get out of bed that early. I said a while a go that I did not want to go into my 30's as a fat boy. well, friday I turn 28 so that means I have 2 years to "doitdoitdoitdoit".

so. um. i think that trap and I have come to a snag in the situation. I mean, the snag has been there but I think that neither one of us wants to really examine it. Well, I'll take that back. I am willing to explore it but he is so afraid of confrontation. The problem is that he has not really come to terms with this relationship and his religion. He also has issues about wanting to earn his rightiousness but that would be another blog entry and a problem that many people deal with. Anyway, he said the other night that I have nothing to worry about as far as we go because he would never give up the situation, he just may alter it. What if i don't want to alter it. I mean, I can see the place he is going and I don't know if i want to ride. A relationship that is just a friendship. I sound stupid as I write this but I don't think that I am conveying the idea as clearly as I could. I mean, if we only gonna be friends then let's just be friends. He will soon not want any part in any of the "romantic" stuff that comes with being in a relationship. that sucks.

ok, so here's what's been happnin' in my life

1. My birthday is friday. hoping to have a nice time in atl with my homey Trap.
2. Told my best friend that I am gay. nigg was super cool with it and it makes me love him even more...no homo.
3. Noah's Arc is what's going on right now. sure the characters are a little hokey and some of the situations are mos def not what would happen in real life but all in all, the show is pretty good.
   
4. Speaking of Noah's Arc, Jensen Atwood is.....wow. That is all I can say.
5. Searching for a good used car is not a game.
6. The group thing is going pretty good. We did 2 gigs this weekend and these chuch people looked at us like we were crazy.
   
7. the other group.....well, i think that i am falling out of love with them.