Just a few things

1) I have been talking to them lately and as I said before, I feel myself slipping. I see it and yet, I do nothing. Good talk last night and I think we got to the bottom of a few more things but I still can't help but feel as though he may only be telling me what he thinks i need to hear. I told him that I still love him last night and right after I said it, I knew I would regret it today. I write this, regretting.

2) I had a weird dream last night that was full of so much. I saw my little cousin in it. He is actually not very little now and is in jail. I was on some steps and he was above me and I looked across the street and saw his mom. She had on a McDonald's uniform and was waving at us. I looked back at him and he was crying. I wanted to hug him but I couldn't. I didn't want to show my emotions like that because even in the dream, I felt it was "unmasculine". Right as I was thinking this, he actually curled up into my arms like a little baby and we just sat there. After that dream, I am thinking I should reach out to him. I still fear rejection and I really don't know what I can say to him but maybe the knowing that there is someone out here rooting for him will be enough.

3) I have been debating and I think that I have finally decided to go to some sort of vocal training. I have been having this problem of becoming hoarse after singing lately so I figure I must be doing something wrong. Even Though it cost 60 dollars an hour for the training, I think it is worth it.