Drinking...

For four nights in a row, I was drunk. That may seem like nothing for some but for me, that is something major. I very rarely get inebriated but It was liberating. The throwing up and all! It freed me somehow. But I don't think I will be drinking that way again any time soon. It was what it was.

Today is the beginning of the work week for me. I called in yesterday because I was still trying to get over the drinking binge. Binge is such an ugly word. Anyway, ever Monday I come back to this place and I feel like this is just not the place for me. This is really one of the worst jobs that I have ever had and at this point in my life I am really a slave to this position. I have to have this job and I really don't like that feeling. One good thing is that I did enroll in school. I really don't have a solid plan with that but I had to start somewhere. I think that everything will fall into place.

The singer Donnie has a song called "Turn Around" and it is basically about a line of love.....metaphorically. He speaks on being in love with the person that is standing in front of him in the line but that person is in love with the person that is standing in front of them and so on and so on. All he wants is for the person that is front of him to just turn around and notice the love that he has instead of focusing on the other person. I bring that up because that song really speaks to me. The people who like me, I usually don't like and the people that I do like, most times act as tho they have eyes on someone else. Its so frustrating because you cant make yourself like a person. I seem to be doomed to a life of unrequited love.